RIGHT (Truth) vs. WRONG
THINKING (Lie):
(Quotes of scripture: the Life Application Study Bible, New International Version)
Origins of Right/Wrong Thinking:
From the day we are
born, our minds are developing. In fact,
our minds begin developing in the womb.
There is some evidence that babies that are rejected by their mothers
are affected by that rejection throughout their lives. When my first-borne son was still in the
womb, I would lean down to my wife’s tummy and talk to him. When he was a newborn, several people would
be talking and he would continue eating or whatever he was doing, but when I
spoke, recognizing my voice, he would immediately incline his head toward me.
Although children in
the womb and infants do not “think,” in the technical sense of the word, their
behaviors and feelings are affected by the stimuli they experience. Throughout our lives our thinking is impacted
by virtually everything we experience via any of our senses. Ergo, it is important to manage our
experiences as well as manage our responses to our experiences.
The feelings that are
not thought-driven are those which we experience via our senses—taste, smell,
sight, hearing, and touch. For instance,
food may be sweet, sour, or bitter; perfume may smell sweet, or sewage may
smell foul; a person may be attractive, or a car may be red; a concert may be
loud, or a guitar may be out of tune; a burner may be hot or painful, and a
pillow is soft; etc. All these feelings
(which I dub, “sensations” as distinguished from feelings, which emanate from
“emotions”) evoke memories and thoughts based on how we have learned to think
and cope, and those thoughts, in turn, will influence our “feelings” (our conclusions
based upon sensations and experiences and the thoughts associated with those
sensations and experiences) and resultant behavior.
For instance, a child
that has been sexually molested may have experienced the sensation of physical
pain or pleasure or both. As the child
grows older, (s)he learns that incest is morally wrong. Since (s)he has been punished (inflicted pain
or withdrawn pleasure) for morally wrong behavior, a new thought occurs: “I’m involved in an activity that will be
punished.” Unless the child has
learned the meaning of “guilt,” the thoughts will be uncomfortable and perhaps
labeled “bad” or “mad” or whatever words the child may have learned to
associate with feelings associated with “wrong” behavior. After the child learns the meaning of “guilt”
(s)he learns that guilt must be recompensed and (s)he will probably experience
another “bad” feeling, which (s)he may soon learn is “fear,” “anxiety,” and/or
“sadness.” If the child has not been
taught the value of love, confession, repentance, mercy, grace, and
forgiveness, then (s)he may feel “bad” until (s)he learns to label that
“badness,” “shame.” Until the child
learns and believes that Christ took our shame
to the cross (Hebrews 12:2) so that we would not need to suffer, that child
will most likely develop a number of soothing coping mechanisms, (e.g.,
gluttony, drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, etc.), which are also morally
wrong, which in turn will exacerbate the initial motivating feelings, which
will increase the pain, which will increase the need for more soothing, which
will result in a debilitating addiction. Thus, the vicious cycle of
thinking—feelings—behavior influences every part of us. Proverbs
23:7: “As a man thinks in his heart,
so is he.”
Wrong thinking: based on faulty
teaching, flawed modeling, idiosyncratic perceptions, and misinterpreted experiences.
Right thinking: based on truth = Word of God. “I am the Way and
the and
the Life.” (Jn. 14:6)
Example: earthly
father didn’t help when you were in trouble>>think you are on your
own>>pride, fear, self-sufficiency, inadequacy, suspicion, etc.; but God,
the Father says: “ will
I you;
will
I you.”
(Heb.
13:5) “God is our
refuge and strength, an help in trouble.” (Ps. 46:1) “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a
fish, will give him a snake instead? . . . If you then, though you are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more then will your
father in heaven give . . .” (Lk. 11:11-13)
When I was a
youngster, my father taught me many functional and healthy coping skills and
values. One value however, which I had
to discard for more productive one when I learned the truth, I learned as part
of the culture in which my father was raised.
He told me: “Son, don’t show others what you know because then they’ll
know what you know plus what they know, and be smarter than you.”
In Texas, where I
currently reside, a favorite ice cream is Blue
Bell, so I like to call the more productive thinking/value the Blue Bell verse. “Give
and it will be given unto you. A good
measure, (I like a big bowl) pressed
down, (I like it packed full) shaken
together and running over, (I like it so full that I must eat it quickly to
keep it from melting over the sides) will
be poured into your lap (But if it does run over into my lap, not to worry;
that’s what washing machines are for). “For with the measure you use, it will be
measured to you.” (Lk. 6:38) (So, if I share my ice cream with others,
I’ll get more? Well, then let’s do it)!
My family ancestry is
mostly Germanic, and I was raised in central Pennsylvania, a mainly German
culture. The church that I attended as a
boy was a small country church whose praise and worship format was quite
conservative. On Wednesday nights,
“prayer and praise” meetings consisted of singing a few hymns, then prayer, and
then testimonies interspersed with choruses, many sung in the German
language. One dear brother stood up and
“testified” quite regularly: “I sank (thank) Got (God) for full and free
salwation (salvation). Full, it’s the
only vay (way) I vant (want) it; free, it’s the only vay I could get it.” This kind of thinking is entirely true. “For by
grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the
gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast.” (Eph. 2: 8-9)
Yet, most of the
teaching, preaching, and testimonies (and contingent thinking, feelings and
behaviors) were based on another type of belief system. The testimony of another dear brother, more
closely typifies the philosophy of the people from my area of origin. “Vhen (when) the Lort (Lord) saved me, he
reached vay don (down) in the deep miry clay, and picked me up and set my feet
on the solit (solid) rock. Now, I don’t
go to the carniwals (carnivals) or fairs or movies or other vorltly (worldly)
places no more. I don’t smoke; I don’t
chew; I don’t run arount (around) with those that do. And I don’t care who’s here or vhat ya (you)
say. You-uns (you) pray for me, and I’ll
pray for you-uns.”
So, I grew up
thinking that God was a God that didn’t allow us to do anything fun and
instead, expected a high level of performance.
So, substitute “lack of performance” for “sexually molested” in the
above example, and the progression of thinking would look similar.
But the truth is that
God is different—much more loving and gracious—than I viewed Him. (And I’m sure that my knowledge of Him will
continue to change as I learn to know Him better). “How to me
are your , O God!” (Ps.
139:17) “’For I know the plans I have for you,’
declares the Lord, ‘plans to you and not to harm you, plans to give you and a .’”
(Jer. 29:11) “For the eyes of the Lord range
throughout the earth to
those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”
(II
Ch. 16:9)
Ron
Brown, MA, is CEO of Rock Solid Foundation, the creator of CaseBook, (a leading foster-adopt agency management software), a consulting
company, and provider of business services for child-placing agencies.
Original Source:
