Memorials

God has vested in all of us--including the misfits--a need to mark the significant events in our lives. Whether to celebrate or grieve, we find every occasion to memorialize. Birthdays, funerals, weddings, anniversaries, holidays, photographs . . . blogs--all efforts to preserve the past so we have something to cling to for the future, for all we have is here and now.

Today, my beautiful bride, Cheryl, and I celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary as well as our youngest daughter's wedding. In turn, the wedding arrangements have reserved a place for the grandparents who have departed and wait for alll of us in heaven. We will shed tears of joy and sadness for new beginnings, final chapters, and memories that will bolster our courage for future victories.

The last time

There's something about the last time for anything that just leaves us with a sense of incredible loss. Whether it's the last time we experience something good or even something bad we can never experience it again and it leaves us feeling desperately lost. The last time I saw my dad ("Pop"), we took photographs of him, me and my son--the three generations. I had this forboding premonition that it might be the last time I'd see him--I hope I was wrong--so we spent a good deal of time trying to retrace and record the family tree, which I know will be lost with him. Then we played and sang some old gospel songs. Pop was never happier than when he was making music or hunting. The last time we went hunting, I didn't realize it would be the last--Pop lost part of his leg--and I didn't savor the experience as much as I should have. I haven't gone hunting since then, which is pretty incredible since, as a child, I looked forward to the first day of hunting season like most kids look forward to Christmas.

Tomorrow, I will walk down the aisle with my youngest daughter and give her away--the last of my three children to get married. Oh, I know no one can really belong to anyone, but the preacher will ask: "Who gives this woman . . . ?" Whether it's a business, a photograph, or a relationship, God has graciously given us the capacity to attach, an ability without which we could never empathize. And once we've given our heart to something or someone we really can never get it back. So, while we may come into this world naked and leave this world naked something in the insula of our brain struggles with our responsibility to be good stewards of God's gifts, and we grieve our losses. I guess that's why the first beatitude Jesus uttered was: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." The person who has no capacity for loss has no capacity for love.

Friendships

Friends are hard to come by. There is a friend that "sticks closer than a brother," and one can only hope that Jesus is not the only true friend (s)he has--not that He isn't sufficient, for He already died for us--but that in this lifetime each person would have a friend that would die, if necessary, under the covenant of friendship. David had Jonathan, who risked his life on David's behalf, all the while knowing that David would some day take his "rightful" place as the king succeeding Jonathan's father's death. In the end, Jonathan died on the battlefield with his father, and in a sense, died for David.


David's lament in II Samuel: 25-26 . . .
25 "How the mighty have fallen in the midst of the battle!
Jonathan was slain in your high places.
26 I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan;
You have been very pleasant to me;
Your love to me was wonderful,
Surpassing the love of women.



I asked myself: Who is it that I would die for? And the question immediately led me to the question: Who is it that would die for me? This is how I believe friendship differs from love. Love is a one-way commitment (the kind that I have for my family); friendship is a reciprocal commitment (the kind I am desperately seeking). It takes two to be friends. In my lifetime I have had friends for whom I believe I would have died, but over time most of those relationships changed to the point at which I'm not so sure I would follow through to the end.



Then I realized that in order to have a close friend one must be a good friend. Am I just a misfit, or do others yearn for the same depth of friendship? Do others wonder what they must do differently in order to gain this rare blessing?

Speaking of Misfits . . . Jesus! He was born in a barn after his mother made a two-week long journey on a donkey. It's a good thing those shepherds showed up; I hope they helped with the mess that all of those travellers' animals made. He did everything backwards (I speak as a mere mortal): Give to receive, humble yourself to be exalted; love the sinner and rebuke the Pharisees and scribes; first shall be last & last shall be first; die to live . . . Sometimes I think that the more awkward we feel here, the more comfortable we'll feel in heaven.



The misfits that have made a difference didn't set out to make a difference. (We desperately need to keep that in mind). They have been reluctant heroes, (the least of the least, betrayed by brothers into slavery, born out of wedlock, etc.), borderline crazy. The prophets would have been diagnosed to be neurotic and/or psychotic, what with their "delusions, hallucinations, hysteria and impulsiveness." They sought the Lord first, heard and saw what he and showed them, then said and did the things that made the difference.

Father in heaven, let my single motive be to obey you no matter how hard it cuts across the grain.

A misfit's vision is unique because (s)he was created beautifully and wonderfully for a divine purpose destined before time began. If a misfit pays too much attention to what others think, then (s)he loses her/his way and becomes a follower of others rather than a follower of the Alpha and Omega. The well-travelled road is easy to negotiate and seems so right, but at the end is death; it's a dead end road. While there is nothing new under the sun, the Ancient of Days makes everything new, and His followers become leaders--forging new paths leading to eternal life. We must view it a privilege and a blessing to see others take up the standard and finish what we have started while we move on to carve out a purpose from chaos.

Ten Daily Declarations:

1. God is for me. If God is for us, who can be against us? (Ro. 8:31)
2. In God [only] I will trust. (John 5:39-40) 39You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. 40But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.
3. I am righteous. 9If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
4. I will put the past behind me and press forward. Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philip. 3: 13 - 14)
5. I will give thanks. 16Rejoice always, 17pray without ceasing, 18in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (I Thes. 5: 16 – 18)
6. I am prosperous. 19And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philip. 4:19)
7. I will embrace suffering. We glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4and perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Ro. 5:4)
8. I have no fear. 1The LORD is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? (Ps. 27:1)
9. I will fulfill my purpose. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall £direct your paths.
10. I will prevail. ...We are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Ro. 8:37)

Why a Misfit?

I have written four novels that have been published. A fifth one, A Misfit's Vision, has been listed with 150 publishers by the Writer's Edge, but not having heard anything, I'm beginning to wonder if anyone will pick it up and make it available to the masses. I think my latest work is my best one, and there it sits, languishing.

After I'd written my first book, The First Kingdom War, my mother asked me: "Why'd you write a book?"

I responded immediately, without thinking, "Because I'm gettin' close to 50 and I have a lot to say."

Writers write; that's right. Good writers, poor writers and average writers--they are compelled to write. The "misfit" in me is more likely than most to screw it up when I try to communicate orally; the writer in me has a better chance of communicating what I really want to say. And whether anyone wants to hear it, we tend to say what's on our minds or else act it out. So, one way or another, it's gonna come out. I'd just prefer to write it. Of course the risk is that once it is written, it is written, and there is no denying it.

I'll try to make my posts worthwhile for the readers. I move ahead, believing that the benefits outweigh the risks.

Misfit